Is Your Husband Sabotaging Your Weight Loss?

Losing weight is challenge enough, but when it seems like your partner is sabotaging your efforts it can make it feel like it is almost impossible to succeed. While it usually isn’t a deliberate, concerted effort to thwart your goals, when a partner puts up road blocks for your weight loss journey it usually comes from a place of insecurity or because the new eating and exercise habits inconvenience their own lives.

Signs That Your Partner Might be Sabotaging Your Weight Loss Efforts

If you are working toward weight loss goals and you just don’t feel the love from your partner, you might be noticing some of the following signs that partners might exhibit.

  • Consistently try to get you to eat foods they know aren’t part of your plan
  • Make it more challenging to go out on dates and socialize – choosing restaurants and situations that don’t offer healthy choices
  • Criticize or minimize your weight loss or exercise efforts
  • Bring junk food (especially your favorites) into the home on a regular basis
  • Complain about menu changes within the home, making it more difficult for you to prepare healthy food
  • Make scheduling challenging, especially if there are kids involved, when it comes to your exercise plan

Why Would Your Husband Not Want You to Lose Weight?

Weight loss, especially when the numbers are high, can have dramatic effects on people’s self-esteem and attitudes. This is true for the partner in the relationships as well. If you lose 40 lbs., chances are you will feel more attractive, confident, and capable. Some partners, however, feel threatened by these new feelings.

  • They might worry that you will move on to another relationship.
  • They could begin to feel that you are less attracted to them, or simply need them less.
  • They might begin to feel insecure about their own bodies or health.
  • They resent the extra time and effort you are putting towards your own goals.
  • They don’t want to change the relationship – they like the menus served for meals, the sedate lifestyle, or even the pastimes like TV viewing (which you now want to trade in for biking).
  • They are concerned about the expenses for gym memberships, exercise equipment, or food programs.

How Can You Get Your Partner to Support Your Weight Loss Goals?

If you’ve noticed some of the signs above, it’s time to take a look at why your husband might not want you to lose weight (but don’t expect him to just admit to these upfront – they are most likely coming from insecurities). Then develop a plan to address each issue that you think might be contributing to the sabotaging of your weight loss goals.

  •  As you become more self-confident and pleased with your transformation, continue to treat your spouse with the same affection (if not more).
  • Integrate gradual changes into the menus at your house. It took me years to trade over white grains for whole grains without receiving complaints. Now my husband shops for these on his own and won’t buy anything else.
  • Try to find fun ways to exercise together – without it having to be your workout plan. You can still do your morning jog, but ask your husband to go golfing or some other activity that he enjoys.

Weight loss does change people, but make sure that as you are transforming your body into a healthier version that you aren’t letting your relationship priorities slide down the scale, too!
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